- Friday, 4 December 2015 -
What I Want to be When I Grow Up
Hello my lovelies! I remember sitting in a classroom when a mobile phone was shoved in my face, on it a group of 20-something year old girls beamed drunkenly at the camera. They were buffed and bronzed and all donned a different variation of a LBD; they were my friends older sisters, with emphasis on the OLDER, because all my 13 year old self could think was "these girls are so grown up, they have their lives and jobs and relationships." At that moment, as I was just about to buckle down to Key Stage 3s, I pondered what pathway I'd take down life's winding road, I presumed that by age 24, I'd definitely have my shit together and have a stable income and house with mortgage and strong relationship status - what I DIDN'T realise was that life rarely goes to plan, that you frequently get thrown curveballs and just learn to make the best of it.
As an only child with a single mother, I didn't always have the best direction career-wise, I had created a bubble of ambiguity and repeatedly told myself that 'it'll all fall into place.' Due to my above-average art skills, I'd been gently ushered into going down the creative route, with strict but supportive cooing from my elders that it'd "be a sin to waste talent like that". During college and my A-Levels in particular, I decided to comb my brain and explore all options available to me, I'd considered Psychology, Zoology, History, English Literature, Computer Science, Games Design, Graphic Design - you see what I did there? Eventually, everything just led back to design.
Even though, right now at this very moment in time and chapter in my life, I'm happy to be a designer, it's not something I see myself pursuing until the ripe old age of retirement. I do want to create, but I also want to help people and open my own business and write my own book and be famous (okay, so only some of these may be viable). I feel that the first chunk of my younger years will be dedicated to me climbing the corporate ladder, where I become senior designer at a respected company until bowing out gracefully as soon as I hit 50. I then either envisage myself becoming a nurse or opening my own book store - or eBook store, depending how soon the robots have taken over.
When I grow up, I think the thing I want the most is to be happy. It may sound like a clichéd generalisation, but it's what we all want at the end of the day, right? I want to feel that wave of satisfaction wash over me upon arriving home from a hard days work. I want to be able to look at myself naked in the mirror when I'm 40 and still think I've got it. When I grow up, I ultimately want to be able to look back at my life and smile, not because of my achievements or memories or experiences, but because I've managed to make it this far and have survived 100% of my worst days. So far, growing up hasn't been the easiest of feats, but with age comes experience and for the first time in a long time, I'm excited to see what the future brings.